At the Interview

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‘So, where do you see yourself after five years?’ the interviewer asked.  Man, I can’t predict where m gonna be this Sunday and you ask me to predict my future after five years?? I am an accountant not a fortune teller.  I hope your next question won’t be something like ‘How many years do you think you gonna live?’ If that is what you intend to ask, I will backfire at you and reply ‘I don’t know about myself, but you are surely gonna die right now!!’  Interviews are pretty tough.  You have to be well dressed and be at your best to meet a complete stranger (you don’t even know whether they are of the opposite sex) who is gonna ask you some rapid fire questions (for which they don’t even give you some lifeline) and the worst part is that you can’t even say that you’re done.  The other day, I went to this renowned company.  The interviewer asked me to tell me about myself and I did.  He wanted to know about my family, I replied.  Then the interview started being much more personal. He asked whether I intend to get married soon!! I bet he was proposing coz I don’t think that the question is of any relevance to the job that I have applied.

There are so many irrelevant questions asked in the interview like ‘What is your expected salary?’ As if you are going to give me a 80 lakh package if I ask for it.  The other irrelevant question would be ‘Why do you think we should hire you?’  Can’t you see, I am unemployed and if I don’t get the job, I will starve to death?  The other question that I totally hate is ‘What are your weaknesses?’ I bet if anyone of us answer the question with honesty, none of us will be hired coz I don’t think interviewer are fond of people with weakness of alcohol, girls, money or substance abuse.  One of the funniest weaknesses ever heard is ‘I am so extraordinary and out of the world that I'm jealous of myself.’  God, I just wish that the extra terrestrial guy be deported to Mars where he actually belongs.

In one of my interviews, they asked me ‘Let’s say, you have 10million worth of gold and you gift it to your friend.  What would be the accounting entry and whether tax is leviable on the transaction?’  I answered in points, ‘First of all, if I had 10million worth of gold, I will never gift it to a friend and secondly with such wealth, I will never do any accounting coz I will hire a CA myself.’  Till date, I don’t know why they called the guards and told me to get out of the room!!

One of friend got into a serious trouble during his interviews.  The interviewer said ‘Walk me through your resume.’ My friend literally tore his resume into pieces, scattered it all over the ground and then asked the interviewer to walk on it.  Poor guy, he should have simply laid the papers in the ground instead up tearing it and messing around.

So, what is the thing that is expected from an interviewee?? It’s simple. People who can sell themselves are hired. It requires a great communication skill, charming personality, a tolerable face (believe me, some people are thrown out just because the manager hates the face) and lots and lots of confidence!! What about the others?? Well, they are thrown out and learn the truth 'the hard way'. But here’s a catch. There’s a balancing act for everything in the world. For every negative, there’s a positive.  So, over the period of time, when the rejected people are actually the recruiter, they hire people who sell themselves, who are charming and full of confidence.  This is it!! This is how it works!!

P.S. If you have an interview to attend anytime soon, three words for you- 'Enjoy the Angst'!! 

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