After the break up

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The first rule of break up is that there are none!! After a break up, the first thing I did was Cry.  I cried so hard that at one time, my eyes were all swelled up and I had to lift my face to see myself in the mirror.  Crying is not that bad either.  They say, crying once a while not only relieves you from sadness but also acts as a cleansing agent to the eyes. Now, when I think about it, I find it to be true.  My eyes felt so good the next day that, at a party, a guy was all praises for my eyes.  Although he was pretty and hot, I could not trust him. I was afraid he would turn out to be some kind of a psycho killer with a garage filled with some closed glass jars filled with formalin just to preserve the eyes after a kill!!

The first thing you fall for after a tragic breakup is definitely the ‘songs’.  If songs would have a face (or a body), I bet it would resemble Russell Crowe or Bradley cooper (smooth, calm and empathetic).  Each song will make you feel that they were written just for you. ‘We are never ever getting back together’, ‘Should have brought you flowers’, ‘I want to break free’, ‘M walking away’ and the list goes on.. From Bruno Mars to Queen, I guess, everyone knows how it goes!! It’s definitely songs that help you get through the break up phase (anger - denial - acceptance - encouragement).

The third and the most difficult thing after a break-up is revelation.  Revealing that you have broken up to your family, friends, your acquaintances and to everyone who knows about you. In this era of social networking, if you do a simple mathematics, the number would come around to be 200 people (minimum!!). Unless you are Shrek and have an isolated lifestyle, it’s quite difficult.  The period of your relationship is directly proportional to the difficulty you are gonna face!!  I told one of my friend that I broke up and she says ‘How cud u?? You were dating for such a long time. Don’t do this…blah  blah  blah  blah???!!!!’.  You know what, F*** u!! You are not helping!! It’s not easy for me either. So, please keep your thoughts to yourself. I told you about my breakup not because my happiness was killing me and wanted to feel extremely sad and curse my life for not working as it was supposed to!!

Then comes the toughest part, your family. Now I understand why great laureate used to keep their relationships in covers.  They too didn’t have the courage to face their families.  When I told my mom that things are not working and I ‘might’ break up, (I lied, I thought that I will tolerate the bullet instead of a nuclear missile!!) she started speaking with me in three lettered words ‘How could you?’, ‘Why break up?’ ‘No, u cant!’, ‘Don’t you dare!’, ‘You chose him’, ‘Have told everyone’. The worst part is when your mother goes ‘How could he do this to you. He was different. You are so perfect and yet he is leaving you. He is a selfish bastard.’ And she can’t talk cause she is filled with tears. How I wish, I could go back in time and take back whatever I have told them about my relationship.

 Now comes the final part, to move on in life. You try to bury all the remains of your previous relationship.  By blocking him or deleting all the pics, comments and caption in the social networking sites and mobiles.  By clearing out your closet and your laptop. By skipping the get together of some common friends (especially weddings)!! By throwing out all the gifts except jewelleries, phones and some cool stuffs. You move on!!

The first few dates are going to be horrible because all you do is compare and judge. The other day I went out with a guy. He was ok till the time I started having random thoughts ‘ He is much more hairier’, ‘He has a small hand, hope that won’t be a problem…uhhhh!!!’, ‘God, how can he dislike Notting hill, how m I gonna live with him??’  ‘Did he just check out that girl, OMG he is such a flirt’, ‘He didn’t even notice the girl who just passed by.  She was so hot that I wanted to smell her, and he didn’t even notice!!! What is he upto?? I mean, is he gay!!’

Now when I think about relationship, I feel that getting into one is not as hard as getting out of it!! You rise and fall.  May be I am gonna fall again.  But it’s ok to fall sometimes. And hats off to people who have sustained multiple break ups time and again.  Now, I know, how much guts you need to overcome it!! Truly appreciate!!  

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