HOPE

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I don’t know what my school mates call me at school. I bet it must be something like – ‘lady hulk’ or ‘the ugly duckling’. The only time a last bencher guy talked to me was when he needed info about some good looking girl in my class. I am just 15 but I feel like a complete disaster.  I am always having a bad hair day; I don’t have a perfect set of teeth and my mother tells me time and again that the only thing I am good at, is my study and if I give up the only thing I am good at, I will end up nowhere because I am neither good at work nor am I as pretty as the other girls my age.

I am not 60yrs, however my parents and teachers tell me all the time to cut down on the food that I eat.  To tell you the truth, I love to eat. I love chocolates and ice creams. I love doughnuts and pizza and I am always ready for a mid-night snack. Yes, I am a bit chubby and that’s the reason why my school mates call me by some lame names like lady hulk. It’s not that hulk is lame, coz I love him.   It’s lame because I wish they could come up with some creative names like Molly (of Mike & Molly).  I don’t know why my mother worries about me so much. I am smart and I am good at maths.  I know I will get into a good college (I might even get a scholarship J) and find the perfect job.  Aren’t these the only criterion’s to make any parents proud?  Most importantly, I won’t end up my life being pregnant at 16 or a drug addict for the rest of my life. Also, I am not as dumb as the other children at my school who say that dinosaurs are fictional but believe in- Billionaire Tony Stark!!

I just want everyone to stop worrying about my looks and weight.  There are far more critical issues in the world like global warming and terrorism that one can actually ponder deep into.  I know I won’t be contesting for Miss Universe, so I hope that my relatives’ would stop worrying about me losing the battle of the most beautiful girl in the world.  I wish that people would stop making Barbie dolls which are sheer replica of perfection but make ‘normal’ dolls such as dolls with specs or with not so perfect body and looks or the perfect hair  so that it is easy for everyone to relate with people like me.  I wish there are more superheroes or fictional characters who are actually brave and strong and not just someone like ‘Snow white’ or ‘Cinderella’ who get their happy endings in life just because they are able to find their prince charming. Also, the prince falls in love with them not for their wits or intellect but simply because he is awestruck by their beauties. I wish that my mother would just say that ‘I love my daughter for what she is’ and not get disappointed and defensive by saying ‘She is not ‘that’ fat’ and ‘she is working on it!’ when some of her random friend would ask her about my obesity.  I am 15 and when I grow up, I don’t wanna my insecurities to grow along with me. All I want is to be happy without being bothered by my looks and not being constantly scanned as whether I fit into the normal world. 

I JUST HOPE..

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