The joy of being Single

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Statutory Warning:
This blog deals with sensitive subject matter. Not recommended to people who are already contemplating their ‘non-single’ status. (We don’t want u to be depressed)

Situation:  Your partner is coming to see you

Non-single: I need to take a shower/ wax/ shave/change clothes, bed-sheets and every visible thing/ be presentable/ hide personal belongings/ delete messages and call logs/ erase history from the system/ sign out from my mail account/ put the baywatch poster aside and hang his/her picture etc..etc...etc...   

Single: This situation is hypothetical!! I am good!!!

Situation:  It’s 11 pm

Non-single: OMG, it’s already 11 and I haven’t even called her!!! I will just call coz I love my life and don’t wanna die!!
 (This activity is mandatory and has to last till the very last second the individual falls asleep)

Single: Oh, it’s 11…. I will talk to someone (whom I actually like)/ read/ watch TV/ sleep/ blog/ do my manicure/ stalk some cute boy/gal in fb/ make my manager’s murder plan/ sit in the couch with legs in the air/ stare at a pic with one eye open etc..etc...etc...
(These activities are optional; you may choose to do it till the time you desire)

Situation:  You bought something

Non-single: I bought a nail to hang our wedding photograph, hope s/he likes it and does not scold me for the shape/ size/ color/ length/ price etc..etc...etc...

Single: I got myself a helicopter…who cares!!!

Situation:  Job offer from Google, USA

Non-single: It’s a good offer, but I think I will stick to my current job at Googla because my partner works in this city and I can’t relocate…I think love is important and I am happy in Googla..
(Facts about Googla:  Googla is a start up ‘Guthka’ manufacturing company located in a place which is well renowned for having the best mental institution in the country.

Single: USA, here I come!!!!

Situation: You meet your old frens from college and plan a vacation

Non-single: I would have loved to be a part of the trip!! I know that we had promised that every year we will go out on a vacation. But, it’s February and I can’t leave him/her on the valentine’s month!!
(What s/he missed: The amazing bike ride/ getting wasted with frens/ hitting the hot guy/gal in the pub/ reliving the good old memories/ most importantly, friends)

Single: Let’s pack our bags and leave by midnight. The only thing I can’t do is restrict myself to thing that needs to be done.

Situation: You meet a good looking guy/gal at your office party and start the conversation

Non-single: Hi (Hope my partner is not looking at me)…I am XYZ (Guilt factor rising!!!) I think, we are from the same department (Should I tell that I am in a relationship coz I am not supposed to flirt)… (error!!) End of conversation!!
(Reason for error: Too many constraints, unable to process!!)

Single: Hi (S/he looks more beautiful when s/he smiles)..I am XYZ (or should I say love of your life) I think, we are from the same department (I am sure, have been eyeing you since ever)… Can I get your number (I am good at this!!)
(Gets the number!!)

Comments

  1. Nuria Vidal12 November 2013 at 10:39

    Your comaprisons have a clear message! Let's remain single

    ReplyDelete
  2. Bikash Pudasaini12 November 2013 at 19:37

    Yup its really great to be a single.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Unknown12 November 2013 at 22:11

    sending wrong messages !

    ReplyDelete
  4. Subhekshya13 November 2013 at 20:31

    Cheers to singlehood!!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Rajan Rauniyar22 November 2013 at 04:45

    Why don't u MONETIZE your blog with GOOGLE ADSENSE and earn some dollars... u have a great blog .. if u r willing to monetize it contact me at .... +977-9846650746 .... Just for a information u can earn almost 100$ a month from this blog.

    ReplyDelete

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